Holding On and Letting Go

It has been no secret that I haven’t lived here for very long, In fact in the seven other schools I’ve been to, the same new girl trope has followed me. Now, obviously I stand out more here due to my accent but in the UK having someone new is incredibly unusual. As I gather, most peoples lives have roughly the same friendship group following them from kindergarten (or elementary) until their senior year. But for me, my friends and relationships have always been more of a strong, fleeting connection.

When I came here, I knew it was different, My middle school friends were going to be the ones that I would most likely, graduate with, which was, is, incredibly strange to me. However, despite the relatively strong group of friends I have here, the restless side of me still longs for something new. And, despite how much I hate change, I still find myself yearning for it.

Maybe, it could be my extreme fear of rejection which leaves me instead, pushing people away. Or, perhaps it could be me looking for new experiences? (Then again, I did move countries, so ballpark). It just seems to be impossible to me to stay in one place as there is something always nudging me to leave before I get left behind.

Maybe, this time, it will be different.


Yes, Abortion IS an Option


(SIDENOTE: I am very aware that not everyone will agree with this, but I ask that you will respect my opinion.)

Dear everyone,

Now, you are probably wondering why a fourteen year old is writing you a letter on abortion. It wouldn’t affect me, a naive teenager, would it? Well, it does and I will tell you why you are wrong. Imagine you have something growing inside you, changing your body, hormones and emotions. This is what cancer can feel like. But rather than helping you regain control over your body, people tell you have no choice, you have to let it grow not for days, weeks but months. How can you regain control? Through abortion. This is why abortion is something you should have the right to as a woman. Women should be able choose what to do with their body.

There are plenty of reasons why abortion needs to remain legalized. People talk about abortion being anti- life. But is it really? The following is a point a lot of Pro-life people make; that the fetus is ‘alive’. However, I am here to give actual facts. Before 8 weeks, what you have is an embryo similar to the embryos of birds and fish, not a thinking, feeling independent entity. Personhood only begins when a fetus is viable. Even at 20 weeks (the cut off for legal abortions in Texas) the fetus is only the size of a small banana, completely unable to breathe, feed or move independently. Viability is actually the point at which the fetus becomes capable of surviving; In the womb it is still developing and relying on the mother for food and nutrients. So, it is wrong to say that abortion is against life. As at the point at which the pregnancy is terminated, there is no independent life form.

In fact, abortion actually supports the right to life. Yes, I said it. And it’s true. Imagine if you got raped, were underage or even knew that you couldn’t support your child (Money or family circumstances). How would you feel to go through all the trivialities of being pregnant to then raise the child or just give it up for adoption? It is so much worse if you know you can’t support the child as you would have to put them through an extremely tough and unfair life for 18 years. Or, in rape circumstances, every time you see your child’s face won’t it remind you of the terrible things you experienced?  

Now, reader, you may protest and say something along the lines of “But you don’t HAVE to have an abortion.” and while that may be true,  Of course, ideally no one would need to have to have an abortion. It is an extremely distressing and upsetting experience for anyone and no one would do it if they had a real alternative. More freely available contraceptives and early stage oral post contraception ‘abortion’ pills are a vastly more preferable way of supporting women who become pregnant. If people really wanted to support life and woman, THIS is what they would march and campaign for.

But what if the anti-abortionists get their way? , all the evidence shows that banning abortion does lead to  illegal abortions. Different reports into the time in the before abortion was legalized ( prior to Roe v. Wade) ,state that  the number of illegal abortions in the United States during the 1950s and 1960s range from 200,000 to 1.2 million per year and horrifically as many as 5,000 American women died annually as a direct result of unsafe abortions. Illegal abortions are horrible. Women often get incredibly sick or die from the unsanitary circumstances that they have been forced into doing. The main demographic for illegal abortions are people who are underage and/or in second world countries.

Finally, people say that abortion is a question of morality. But it is not. Abortion is about providing options for woman (and young girls like me) at a time when they are distressed and frightened feeling their own body being taken over. It is not OK to say they have to put up with it as it is their fault. Because this leaves them trapped and at risk unable to control their own future but being told by others what they SHOULD do with their own body. When you are pregnant but for whatever reason cannot look after a child (because you are too young, don’t have enough money to look after it or were raped), abortion is an essential way out. Abortion is about protecting women’s lives and leaving resources available for the so many children who are wanted. Therefore, even if it doesn’t correspond to your beliefs, abortion should be a choice for women.

My (Unfortunate) Fortune

Hello everyone,

Generally speaking, I am an unlucky person. From catching every cold imaginable to getting all the bad cards in board games, I seem to be a magnet of misfortune. And maybe it is because I believe in bad luck and all the superstitious stuff, but yesterday I had the daunting (and incredibly scarring) experience of having my fortune told via tarot cards. Now, while for most people having their fortune told is a lighthearted thing, with the predictor telling them about perhaps a new romance or that they would get a promotion. However, mine was 40 minutes of misery.

So, in my reading, basically what he said was that a huge, sad change was coming and that I couldn’t really prevent it. He didn’t tell me what it was or what sort of direction it was going to be. Luckily, it is not going to kill me, despite getting the DEATH card. However my mind cannot stop raking through all the possibilities; getting ditched by a particular friend, getting hit a bus/train/car, failing the grade…

After my impending doom was foretold, I got up to leave, only to trip over in front of the fortune teller (Why is my life like this). Luckily, my friend Lily was there through the terrifying journey and consoled me.

So let me leave you all with this, if I get hit by a car, I will drag myself and my multiple broken bones out of the hospital to say I told you so.




So in school (as you may have seen) I have been rocking some stylin’ shades am I right? Contrary to popular belief the glasses are not for the fashion appeal, I in fact have a concussion.

Now, if you know me at all you will know that I’m an incredibly clumsy person and overall mess, but believe it or not it was not me who caused it for once. You see, I was in dance and rehearsing the choreography my friends had done for an assignment. It was in the last five minutes my teacher announced she would be playing the song for the last time before we went to get changed, so my group decided that we would do the dance from the top. The song finally got the part with our original choreography and we proceeded to do it. I feel like I must mention that my friends who choreographed it did dance outside of school, therefore the routine was very fast paced and full of floor work. Now, the dreaded moment, we had done the first 8 count or so and were on to the first count on the floor. When all of a sudden, the other person in my group kicked me, very hard and very fast. And that’s it (I’m not going to go into detail about the nurse and doctors office).

So honestly, I just think it’s kind of stupid what happened. Actually very. As it could have so easily been me doing it to someone else.

Anyways, sorry this was sub par and thanks for reading.


Hi all, I am back again to talk about something that we have all been wondering…

Is the Anna Dr**p we all know and fear indeed a satanist?

I am here to show you all the evidence. Now, I know you have seen her in the halls chanting with the classic star on her gloves, hands or on a bracelet. But, did you know that that is her way of cursing the students of Canyon Vista. That is in fact why school sucks.

Next thing is her music. We have seen the emos at school walking around like they hate everyone (they do) but Anna look ESPECIALLY HATEFUL does she not?

Now, I will show you a list of ways to identify a satanist:

1. They come and go at odd hours, especially late at night and just before dawn.

2. They never attend church or celebrate religious holidays.

3. They often have no visible means of support, yet live well.

4. They carry strange bags and bundles, never revealing the contents.

5. They rarely laugh, or laugh under the wrong circumstances – for example, when a child is hit by a car.

6. They are often openly interested in magic tricks or the occult.

7. They may excite instinctual fear in children and animals.

8. They are not afraid of blood – in fact, they seem attracted by it.

9. They collect weird things, such as animal skeletons or fingernail clippings.

10. They tend to dress warmly even in hot weather, as if they constantly feel chilled.

How many of those sounded like Anna? That’s right 10/10.


Like this is you want more Anna theories (there are many).

Rubbed Raw and Reeling

In the UK, school had always come easy for me. I was one of the smartest, there was little to no homework and everything you did didn’t get graded.

Then I was thrown into America everything changed. In my school you get hours of homework each night, the majority of the kids get A/B’s and everything is graded. Needless to say, it originally sucked. And the thing is you can’t change it. Most of the kids in the AP and Honors classes were born and raised to be that way. So I eventually just started to accept that I was never going to be great, I would just have to settle for second best.

The stigma of not being the best seeped into my mind with my friends too.  Now, I am extremely blessed in calling some of the most talented people I’ve ever met my friends. However, small things like being put in the back in dance, not getting a part in theater, {failing a math test} all added up the downfall of my already low self confidence. Then getting a simple reply of “Oh, that sucks.” from the writer, the actor, the dancer really did suck.

And honestly I can’t see my self belief getting better any time soon. It’s easy to say just love yourself but, how are you supposed to when rejection is a constant factor in your life?

Anyways, thanks for reading. My next post will be a lot more lighthearted so stay tuned for that.



Hi friends,

I am back again after months to discuss a very important issue…

Being left handed.

Let’s face it: this world was meant for right handed people. Being left-handed can be exhausting, and sometimes downright excruciating. But what choice do people have? You can’t train yourself to be right-handed, no matter what the people of the past believe. Though being left-handed is frustrating, and it makes every day tasks close to impossible, the only thing you can do is to power through it all, and be the best lefty you can be. So here are some of the daily trivialities we find hard:

1. Smudged writing

No matter how, left handed people inevitably will end up with a line of graphite or ink stuck on their hand. Needless to say it sucks.

2. Obvious questions/statements

The minute someone finds out your ‘oh so special’ trait, I guarantee you will be fawned over and told about their great grandma who also is.

3. Musical instruments

Now I know this doesn’t apply to everyone but this is definitely one of the hardest things for me. I play guitar and the left-handed ones definitely don’t come easy. On average, in a GUITAR store there will be four left-handed guitars. How lucky.